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2003-05-14 19:56 p.m.
cut myself off
My head seems to be permanently hurting right now. I haven't had a drink since Saturday so it might be withdrawl symptoms. Talked a lot with Ben by text today. Text is fine if he doesn't say the wrong thing. I don't know how bad seeing him will be, but he is lending me money to help with my finances so I feel its the least I can do. Despite the whole situation. Yes I'm stupid. <......> I think he might be pissed off with my emotional instability. Maybe thats just me. I realise my self has been more erratic than usual this past week. I think I definately need to distance myself though. From everyone. Cut myself off. I'm depending too much on other people. So - really got to try. And try hard this time. No one can do anything for me but me. Its putting into practice thats going to be hard.
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