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2003-05-12 08:51 a.m.
not caring
Flashback: Friday night when I turn around and my heart flips. Flashback: Saturday night and sunday Oh god I think I'm going to be sick. Last night - when I couldn't sleep and then Ben started texting me. He still cares, I'm still special, why don't I come over on Thursday and watch a DVD, why don't we do something over the weekend, I can talk to him about anything. Right. Do you really want to hear about me fucking another guy? I know I certainly wouldn't. I cried harder when I got his text about the great weekend he had texting some other girl he convientently met on lycos. What happened to Donna huh. Oh yeah, then the great bit I've changed. Become a smoker and I don't care about anything anymore. Big deal about the not smoking. About the not caring - does that seem how it is? I think this (paper) diary rips that to shreds. But then aren't psycho Essex sluts not MEANT to care?
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