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2003-06-04 8:08 a.m.
breaking hearts and mistakes
I'm beginning to think that the past few weeks have just been one huge mistake. One mistake after another. It was a mistake to go on holiday with him. It was a mistake to go down there last weekend. It was a huge mistake to convince Jon we should go down to the pub. Stupid so fucking stupid. Deleting his email address from work, just like I've deleted his phone numbers. If I do that then I can't bug him, have no way to contact him and hopefully this will work. I'm pathetic. If I do just disappear everything will be fine, right Maybe - maybe I'm doing to Stu what I did to Jim. Trying to make him into someone he's not. Idealism The perfect one for me And he's not I don't think I'll ever find my soulmate. And that realisation is breaking my heart
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