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2003-06-11 1:52 p.m.
light and deep
[This is not being written in my paper diary. No. This isn't really me wrestling with anyhting. Not really. Went for a walk at lunch - on the basis of advice given to me by my partner in crime and Stuart - I am planning on buying the new Metallica album. Another bouncey Cd - hopefully to improve my mood. Decided to stop in The Gadget Shop on the way - and boy oh boy are there the two cutest guys working there...... Deep stuff here now, random thoughts.. so they may not make sense I know, deep down, what I want from.. someone. And my partner in crime (from his picture) isn't it. Although, he's funny - he makes me laugh, we can joke about anything... and we have the same interests. But he's not it. And neither is Stuart. And if thats the case why has my life turned out like this. My only conclusion has to be ..... rebound. Regarding Stuart. And if that is true - then I am glad that we came to the friend decision. Doesn't make the whole situation easier. Not really. Not at all infact. I seem to be plagued by Alex impersonators at the moment.... Doesn't help much. Every night for the past week it's been a internal struggle. Every night I've been remembering little things, crying, tossing and turning. Wishing I could just be held]
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