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2003-06-14 8:24 p.m.
what do I....?
I went to the animal fair
The birds and the beasts were there
The big baboon
by the light of the moon
was combing his auburn hair
The monkey fell out of his bunk
And slid down the elephants trunk
The elephant sneezed
and fell on his knees
and what became of the monky monkey monkey monkey Ok, sorry about that - blame Sarah. Well - little note here.. uhm.. "friend" - that comment wasn't meant about you. Sorry if you thought it was. I'm having some reservations about my little partner in crime (that you now know the name of) Wondering if thats what he's thinking about me... what with some of the texts. Anyway - this hasn't been written in my diary either - I forgot it (again) it's sitting right here by the computer because thats where I left it. I really really wanted it this weekend. I went down to Kent, was a bit wary about doing so. Nervous because - well.. obvious there really. Made it to Jon's house to find Stu had just left. Mixed feelings there. Jon and I went out last night, to the Tap and Tin, and then on to Subs with another Jon, Alex, two girls (I never got their names) and Paul.... Our time in Subs was pretty much spent in the non-metal room... And my time was pretty much spent chatting to Paul - a few dances, and then in the corner kissing. Paul then stayed round Jon's house, with me - but not in the same bed, or room. I did drink too. I kinda let myself down, and no I didn't take the pills because your not meant to take them after having alcohol. But I'm going to take this slow... I have spent most of the day with Kiri and Paul (not Kiri's boyfriend Paul but the guy I met yesterday - I can see this getting really confusing), up in Kiri's room, just chatting... sparking up, listening to System and watching Kiri play bloodrayne and matrix before Stu came round (again mixed feelings about that after his phone call). I came downstairs quite a few times to see if Jon was doing OK. And the time I came down and Stu was on the sofa - I was cool. Obviously there is still lots to work out - but we all went to the pub, and people were mentioning Kaye and stuff - I was ok. So, yeah. Still have this urge to just let Stu read the paper diary. *sigh* What do I really feel for people? --------------- Conclusion: I can't be over Stuart because I dont think I was that far gone anyway - I think it was me wanting what I've had for so long. But as I'm single its denied, which is as it should be between friends. My partner in crime - I don't know. As said in a previous entry, he's not what I want, deep down. Neither is Paul. But both are really sweet... Simon makes me laugh - but I've spent more time with Paul, and know that he will go out... live life - whereas I don't know if Simon will. Plus, take into consideration, the texts Simon's been sending me, and my reservations. Paul sent me a text after I got home saying he really enjoyed my company, would love to see me again and thinks that we could be really happy together. And in reply to my text of "you'll have to be patient - trust issues" (I wrote more than that and couldn't explain myself more than that in just one text) sent one back saying that we'd only just met so yes to taking it slow. I think I'm seeing Simon tomorrow... with Gav - we'll see how that goes I think. But I'm seeing Paul next weekend... I wont be seeing Stu I don't think. He's busy with Kaye and then he's working. Am I thinking about this too much?? Over-anylising too much??
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