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2003-06-30 2:00 p.m.
helpings
Been at the doctors this morning... She wrote everything down, catalogued the bruises, panic attacks etc - so everything is there on my medical records if it has to go to court (eeeek) I've also booked an appointment with the counsellor - admittedly its the end of july... and wont be much help right now - but if Lana gets a cancellation then she'll move me up. Which is good. I'm feeling ok. It helps that the statement bit is out the way so I'm not freaking out that I can't remember anything and feeling like a failure. It helped that I can call on Victim Support - who will, for the first few times (if I want) accompany me on journies - just to get me through the first few. While I'm making journies to work - its because I have to. And I hate feeling like I cant cope. It helped too, that a) Paul is coming up this weekend, b) Ben called and we've had a long talk - sorted things out.. and I'm going round his Wednesday for an evening or so, and c) having a talk with Stu (who hates the mention of Mr Headteacher *grins*) And the peaceful afternoon I had yesterday too, with Chris... I've put the shells by my bed, so I can see them whenever I go to bed and get up - I can remember the peacefullness of the chapel and river and try to take that calmness into me :) Anyway - I'm at work, so I really should be getting on and working ;)
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