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2003-06-02 12:15 p.m.
bad thoughts
I think I'm over-anylising again. I know I'm a mass of contradictions. Saying one thing with words and saying completely the opposite in other ways. How can he put up with this. I'm thinking not being able to go down is very very good. It gives him time (and room) and more importantly it gives me time. Time to sort myself out. Get things straight in my head. And not being around means no uncomfortablness re: him and Kaye. Which is good. I think I'll leave the job thing for a while too. For a few months. See how things turn out. If I move down there and things turn bad then I'm stuck and that is something I don't need. Bad thoughts again. Yes so it wont help anything but I bet it will feel good <.......>
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