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2003-06-05 5:38 p.m.
freaked
I'm feeling better. *At the moment* Come night time it will be the usual railing at myself, crying, hugging my bear <.......> My finance situation is good. I got a loan so I'm ok. It means I can go down to Kent. But I wont. I...... I don't know about anything. So confused. A text was sent to me today, at just gone 4 this afternoon. I don't recognise the number at all and its freaking me out totally. I'm running through names and I'm getting more and more paranoid as the list goes on. Is it Stu - I deleted his numbers and I think he's at work. He doesn't use his mobile at work. *usually* Is it Mike from Belfast. But I have his number in my phone. Is it Rob? Is it Ribs? Or is it some other person. I'm scared that it might be him, I haven't changed my number in all this time. But he detests and despises me, so why would he keep it? To him I'm the proper essex tart. But you cant tell that to paranoia I sent texts back pleading that they tell me who they are but no reply. I feel faint, dizzy, light headed. I wish the smell of food wouldn't make me feel sick anymore, so I can actually eat something
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