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2003-06-23 12:20 p.m.
why didnt i

stiff and sore. bruised. scared. afraid to close my eyes last night. visions and scenarios kept strolling through my brain. What if one of them had a knife?

why didnt i just get the other train. why didnt i just move to the next carriage. why did i get my gameboy out. why didnt i just not try and get it back. why did i stand up to them.

sarah said she's proud. that i stood up to them. hey - 22 and been away alone loads and this is the first time. though thats sarah speaking.

wanting ben there. or someone. anyone. didn't want to be alone. sarah sat up half the night with me. spent the other half reading just so i wouldnt think.

jon's just texted me. asking if im ok.

my glasses are still going to be another half hour. and chelmsford police cant do anything... said its the btp area.

kinda had a panic attack this morning. clutching my things to me as people were walking by.

the feelings of helplessness as, well, no one helped....

but im sure you dont want to hear about that. dont think. think of the rest of the weekend. yes.

spent most of friday evening and all of saturday evening/sunday morning with paul. spent most of saturday with jon (he's a great shopper ;) and we have the same taste in men... mostly)

keep finding new places that seem to have been bruised.

�250.... thats the cost of my new glasses.

rip off.

i want to be at home

before ][ after

1 comments so far

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